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Blurring The Lines Of Sanity as Attempted by Jerlyne McFadden

What Matters Most

It gets harder everyday to even turn on the idiot box

Because nothing is more depressing than watching

The one percent turn a country that I love into

A haven of hate, a wasteland of bigotry,

And an isolated island that is bent on self destruction.

Van Jones said we are witnessing a “whitelash”

The GOP wanted a leader to dismantle the progress made

In Barack Obama’s presidential administration

So this country elected a man who grabs pussies

Pisses on prostitutes

Creates  constitutional crisis

Coines  terms like  “Alternative Facts” because his administration

Is spewing lies and; supporting and facilitating the idea

We as a country can’t have a fair election

In an effort to suppress the vote

All the while instituting a ban on religion that is a

Cleverly disguised Muslim/Islamic registration

Because believe you me before they left those airports,

Or were turned around at that gate

Or sent back to that country,

their names were recorded for posterity.

Stay woke they say

I feel like I’m on a fucking caffeine drip

It is open season on the fabric of our country

It is open season on the constitution

They are trying to silence the media by calling some outlets

   Fake news

The Orange one won’t take your questions because he doesn’t like you

Government employees have been told to get with it

Or quite your job

Back me no matter how incredible wrong I am

Freedom of speech seems to be a thing of the past

Just asked the EPA

But all that is the least of my worries

I live in Mississippi, the GOP capital

Our current Governor is related to the women who is

Directly responsible for Emmett Till’s death

Where our Governors have failed

To fully fund education for the past 30 years

Then we are left wondering why we have “failing” school districts

And questioning if we ever competed nationally

Every year Medicaid and Medicare come under fire

And every year we are left more financially strapped then the year before

Now they are threatening the school districts and college institutions

Saying if you don’t fly the state flag we will withhold state funding

Despite the fact that it is a symbol of hate to so many

Then we have senators that say shit like:

So a group of unhappy liberal women marched in Washington DC. We shouldn’t be                surprised; almost all liberal women are unhappy. Perhaps there’s a correlation.

             Nevertheless, I’m fascinated to see them exercise their First Amendment rights           (however objectionable the message).

But I do have a question: if they can afford all those piercings, tattoos, body paintings, signs, and plane tickets, then why do they want us to pay for their birth control?

So where do we go?

What do we do?

What are we fighting for?

When locally the system is stacked against us

Where, believe it or not, the person sitting next to you

Voted for this clown.

I’ll tell you

We stand in solidarity with all people of color

We protest to let our voices be heard

We question the alternative facts

We push back against bigotry, sexism, racism and fascism

And we never forget the original people of this country are the Indians.

 

 

 

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Hey you…

I gasp because I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me

You are there as if you have always been there

As if I never really understood what I needed before the first time I listened

To you; the first time I heard you; the first time I knew !

Recognizing who I suspected I was from the very beginning,

Having a hard time reconciling the two sides of my personality

While understanding that there are sides to me, that I am multifaceted

I just see it as living my life incomplete.

My Only Tears…..

I know who I am 

So this is just a season

It will come and go, it will change me

Heal me, cure me and it will give me 

Exactly the things I need 

Sometimes it will come as a weed growing through the cracks

Sometimes it will be the wind blowing against my roots

Sometimes it will be the water flowing around me

But I will rest assured that it will pass

I am  in “the meantime” of  my life

And feel as I’ve  stopped 

There will be days when giving up and giving in seems 

The only choice, and the grip I have seems to be lessening

But in the  end I  will stand 

In the season of my life 

Because I know who I am

I know who I am.

To My Child’s Father

This is me when I am done, no thoughts giving ideas For words to fall from my lips. I welcomed you with open arms and whether we were a Situationship was not the price for your loyalty To the one p…

Source: To My Child’s Father

To My Child’s Father

This is me when I am done, no thoughts giving ideas

For words to fall from my lips.

I welcomed you with open arms and whether we were a

Situationship was not the price for your loyalty

To the one person that makes all of this life

Worth every single, solitary minute.

You have proclaimed to be this wonderful

Loving and supportive Dad, but when you make a point

In denigrating the mother of your child and

So called laughing at my pain, you have showed yourself,

As the non fucking factor I never thought you’d turn out to be.

I have extended an olive branch to you so many times

This time I offer you a life line, your vital signs are fading

I see you breathing hard and clutching your chest, thinking your

Venom will besmirch me, when it’s just you grasping at straws.

So pay attention and listen well

Most of my life I spent loving you and being hurt by you

But not today, today I lay to rest those pieces of myself,

My past and the respect that I had for you.

I am placing the coffin in the ground and laying the rose on top

When I turn to walk away I won’t even look back

This is me when I am done, when I will shed just one tear

One tear that is for the elation I feel as that life has ended,

The past dead and buried

And your tombstone in my rearview mirror.

 

You?

I hope this reaches you well,

I would hate to think of you as bitter and lonely,

I always wished you loved,

See a long time ago you and a few others

Taught me that while having someone’s  love is nice,

Earning their respect,now that, that  is love.

It’s even better

Trust me.

See you talk a good game but you have failed to realize,  what you have right in your lap

You once told me that I didn’t live in reality

That I was fucking nuts,

So let me give you a dose of reality

You had this to say one time in a post on that social scene that has become everyone’s life

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A picture of creationism, afrocentrism and good ol’ black love.

The perfect combination, just look at what we created

We created genius, try and find another like  her,

I’ll wait

 

It never occurs to me just how lonely I am until I hear a song or watched some romantic seen on a television show.

And boy when I do it hurts so deep that I fear my chest caves in. I don’t have to be alone, I have chosen this.

Like some sort of self-exile, because trying would be too much.

So I guess the whole idea is for me to give up and that is exactly what I have done.

See I traded the world for responsibility.

So I sit here night after night doing the same repetitive tasks set before me every day.

So then the question becomes what will become of me?

Do I continue to exist as if life is just those things that I do every day or do I try?

The conclusion I have come up with is that after four years of really not giving a fuck and honestly not missing a damn thing that I had in my past, I’m just scared of lonely.

There are all kinds of what some may call “hope in a bottle.”

But what bottle would you pick up?

What bottle holds the key to your self-exile, your desire to have companionship?

What is it that draws you to seek hope in a bottle that always turns out to be a temporary fix for what ails you.

You see the hope in a bottle theory goes back to the nineteenth century.

Where you had the likes of Dr. Wilson’s memory elixir.

And there were others, lots of them.

So thanks to the business minded people, they formed companies whose sole purpose was to get the people hooked on their alcohol, cocaine and opium laced tonics.

I know that was a little off topic but my point is that the whole concept that was used then is used now.

And the bases for our generation is the same concept except, we are now looking for hope in a bottle.

We have traded the drug laced tonics of old for bottles of pills that promise to burn fat quickly.

We want so desperately to be liked, loved, wifed and cuffed, all because we are all scared of lonely.

So this is my story, this is the place that I live in.

Where occasionally I look for hope in a bottle.

Never choosing one because none suit me.

The object that keeps eluding me has, simply put, not been discovered yet.

So I push on, task oriented, reasonability driven and scared of lonely.

Truly Maddening

Maybe you need an introduction?

Perhaps if I were to clear the air……

Or maybe I’ll start looking for a fuck to actually give.

Every day I wake up knowing that I have these people that depend on me.

As in if I wasn’t here the picture wouldn’t be to good.

So no matter what you choose to do , guess what?

My fucking life moves on.

My fucking life is good.

You think that I am sitting around worried about

What you doing and who you doing

When the truth of the matter is I don’t have the time or energy

So I just prop the door open and when you ready

You gone either shut it and lock it,

Or you gonna walk the hell out.

And guess what, my life still moves on

I still move forward.

The constant threat of someone out there turning your head

The constant doubt about your fidelity, your loyalty

That is shit young women do.

I step back and examine the man before me

Comparing him to the one I knew years ago

And it is somewhere in the middle that I find

My truth.

That i see you.

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